You Scream, I Scream

You scream, I scream, but it is not for ice cream. Since the beginning of time, people have been arguing and they will continue to do so for years to come. When I consider the argumentative culture around me, there are various disputes that come to mind. In recent weeks, I have heard arguments about grades, money, ethical issues, equality, and a million others. Those that I hear arguing are arguing with their spouse, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, teachers, and colleagues. Some arguments did not accomplish anything, it only made matters worse or mattes were never resolved. In other cases, change was sparked, compassion was felt, and life move on.

            When it comes to arguing, I too myself engage. I, however, am one that attempts to avoid conflict and confrontation. Yet it seems to seek me out on various occasions. In some, but not most, of my classes, arguing or debating is allowed. Professors yearn for passion, opposition, and accurate use of references from their students. They encourage us to argue because it is a healthy form of expression. They want us to formulate ideas and submerge ourselves in the ever-changing world in which we live. But for good reason, there are limitations on these debates. Arguing does not have a necessity for loud tones, attitude, or cruelty. One is not to raise their voice above normal octaves and one must never attack their peers. By making the space rigid and uncomfortable the argument has taken a course for the worse and should cease immediately. For any morally sane person would never allow the belittling of another student.

            An argument that I wish to share is one that was had in my Professional Ethics course here at Saint Louis University. At the beginning of each class we are to report on ethical issues we have come across within the week and we will debate on how they should be handled or what can be done about them in the future. One class period, the ethical issue of gratuity was brought up. Though gratuity is not enforced it is greatly appreciated and widely accepted. Unfortunately one of my peers, who also works as a waitress, made a comment that ignited a flame within me. She said that black people did not leave good tips. I was furious that she had let that escape the sanctity of her mind. There was an ethical issue there on top of her own. Not only had she stereotyped, she was racial profiling.

            Due to the bluntness of her comment not many knew what to say. I was the first to raise my hand and I rejected each word that exited her mouth. I sternly, but politely explained to her that BLACK people do leave nice tips. Being one that dines out nearly every evening and also working as a waitress myself, I had the authority to make that statement. Whenever I dine out I always leave twenty percent or more if the service is good or exceeds expectation. Obviously if the service is bad, then I would leave less than twenty percent or nothing at all depending on the circumstance. She did not know I was a waitress, so she asked how I would know if they tip well. And I smugly stated that I was a waitress. (Insert evil laugh.) I explained to her that I have served people of all races and that if she wanted me to be candid that Orientals, Russians, Jamaicans, Hispanics, and Whites are bad tippers too. She then went into speaking on how they were “ghetto”and rude. I then had to explain to her that there is a difference between being “ghetto” and being upset. Many servers misconstrue the two which I also stated to her.

            At this point her face is red and I can see that she is royally upset. WE continue to go back and forth and I end the dispute by telling her that people always say the customer is always right. So if we follow this standard, maybe it was not the consumers who left a bad tip. Maybe it was a bad server who got the tip she deserved. After about two minutes of silence, we moved on to the next ethical issue, but the one prior had not left my mind. In this case, there were two points of debate, the ethical issues of gratuity and racism. Hopefully, our argument taught her not to profile those that are not of the same sin tone as yourself and to be a better server. If anything, the only thing that I hurt would be her pride, but I feel our argument was extremely helpful. I made sure not to criticize her and I did not deny that people do not leave satisfactory tips. Our argument was encouraged and monitored, we were in a safe space. But if you scream and I scream, there is nothing for us to take away.