My (point of view) life got pretty interesting when my partner, (flat character) and I became an undercover spies. My partner, who is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, (appositive) and I used to be cops but we weren’t (contraction) very good at it. This is a result of our first arrest; we forgot to read a man his rights. It is against the law to arrest someone without reading their Miranda rights. (data)(evidence) After that, we were moved to a secret undercover unit. This unit had hidden headquarters in an old church (setting) (scene)(atmosphere) and specialized in undercover high school operations. My partner and I were soon assigned our first mission. Our mission was to impersonate high school students with the ultimate goal of finding the drug dealer that was selling deadly drugs to the students at this high school. When someone passes away (euphemism), things get serious. I think when someone dies there’s probably a problem. (understatement) It is no longer simply buffoonery.
On the first day, we had to figure out how to fit in. This was difficult because we had not attended high school in many years. My partner and I both had identities chosen for us by our unit. As, it turned out, these identities were actually pretty similar to our personalities in real life. It was hard remembering our new names, where we are from, or what our hobbies were; it was similar to becoming a new person. (metaphor)(image) We had to practice our characters about a million times. (hyperbole) After we got our class schedules, we knew it was all becoming real. My partner and I were ecstatic about having to do homework again. (irony)(sarcasm) We were nervous for the kids to speak to us because we could say the wrong thing and ruin the whole mission.
After figuring out how to blend in, our next step was to start making friends (or attempt to) in order to get inside information. My partner and I decided we should sit with people at lunch and get to know them. We asked them several severely specific (alliteration) questions that could potentially lead to us finding out what we needed to know. We became friends with several students and found out that we needed to spend some time with the swim team. If what we heard is true, then the swim team is where we would find suspects. (antecedent-consequence relationship) We had no suspects yet, but I’m sure you probably know who it is. (narrative intrusion)
After much deliberation and observation, we were starting to develop our suspects. My partner and I seemed to be torn between three people as to who could be guilty. There was finally a day in which we felt like we really blended in with the students. This was the day we discovered who the drug dealer was. After finding out that the suspect was probably on the swim team, we decided to search the locker room. We were going through lockers and found all the evidence (climax) in one of them. The interesting thing was that this was not a student’s locker. It was a teacher’s locker. It turned out, one of the teachers at this school was guilty. It was the swim coach the whole time. He was sneaky, not to mention smart. (paralipsis) It was absolutely shocking. There was never a moment we suspected one of the teachers to be guilty. But, we completed our mission and went out with a bang. (onomatopoeia) And, now that my partner and I have solved the case, our next adventure awaits: impersonating college students.
I enjoyed you post as your short story is very creative and you incorporated the rhetorical devices very naturally and effectively.
ReplyDeleteNice touch adding reality into the short story with facts of law. What made you choose the gym teacher? Why was he selling to the students? Did he have a motive? Also if they were bad cops, why were they given the privilege to do undercover work? Was it a punishment or a chance to shine in another field?
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